Warning… this is a heavy one.
I’m a couple of days late for the “national pregnancy and infant remembrance day” and a couple of years late on opening up to y’all, but I don’t think that matters. Today I want to take a moment to remember the babies who never had the chance to be held. Two of these babies are mine.
It’s not that I’ve kept these losses to myself. I have no problem telling friends or even strangers about my experiences. I’m probably the girl that just comes out with it so quick that people don’t know how to respond. But I’m open about my miscarriages because I want women to understand how much it does happen and that it’s okay to talk about it. So why haven’t I talked about it here? I really don’t know… it never felt like the right time to write it I guess what in between fashion posts and what not. Plus putting something like that out there in writing is harder than a face to face conversation. But I always knew I would open up about it, for me as much as for you. I know there are many of you out there who have experienced troubles getting pregnant, miscarriages, or even lost children. And my heart hurts for each of you and your stories. In between Lilly and Fletcher we had two miscarriages. Both were pretty early, around 8 weeks. Both were unexpected and heartbreaking. A dear friend of mine kindly told me that time would help lesson the pain. That has been true for me. Of course one never fully heals from the loss of a child even if you never met him. And the grief can hit anytime. I remember watching the movie The Help for the first time. I had read the book and knew it was coming, but still the miscarriage scene was nearly unbearable to sit through without breaking. I don’t like to break in public.
But as well all know life isn’t always fair. We have to live with the good and the bad and take like as it comes. God has blessed Josh and me beyond belief with Lilly and Fletcher. We have a beautiful life. For that I am grateful every single hour of every single day.
image via.
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