Warning… this is a heavy one.
I’m a couple of days late for the “national pregnancy and infant remembrance day” and a couple of years late on opening up to y’all, but I don’t think that matters. Today I want to take a moment to remember the babies who never had the chance to be held. Two of these babies are mine.
It’s not that I’ve kept these losses to myself. I have no problem telling friends or even strangers about my experiences. I’m probably the girl that just comes out with it so quick that people don’t know how to respond. But I’m open about my miscarriages because I want women to understand how much it does happen and that it’s okay to talk about it. So why haven’t I talked about it here? I really don’t know… it never felt like the right time to write it I guess what in between fashion posts and what not. Plus putting something like that out there in writing is harder than a face to face conversation. But I always knew I would open up about it, for me as much as for you. I know there are many of you out there who have experienced troubles getting pregnant, miscarriages, or even lost children. And my heart hurts for each of you and your stories. In between Lilly and Fletcher we had two miscarriages. Both were pretty early, around 8 weeks. Both were unexpected and heartbreaking. A dear friend of mine kindly told me that time would help lesson the pain. That has been true for me. Of course one never fully heals from the loss of a child even if you never met him. And the grief can hit anytime. I remember watching the movie The Help for the first time. I had read the book and knew it was coming, but still the miscarriage scene was nearly unbearable to sit through without breaking. I don’t like to break in public.
But as well all know life isn’t always fair. We have to live with the good and the bad and take like as it comes. God has blessed Josh and me beyond belief with Lilly and Fletcher. We have a beautiful life. For that I am grateful every single hour of every single day.
image via.
Katie. I’m so sorry to hear about your recent loss. I remember when I was in the thick of things that it was all very, very hard. I can say that time has helped. And for me, knowing that I had already had a healthy-ish pregnancy with Lilly made me feel much more confident that I could do it again. That and learning that miscarriages are, sadly, fairly common. When you really want something nothing really stops you from trying. Especially when it comes to your family. Stay strong and positive and good luck!
I am so sorry for your losses. I had a miscarriage about a month ago at 10 weeks. You are so invested at that early stage and its unbelievably heartbreaking. Its all made harder by the fact that nobody really talks about it although so many of us go through it- so, thank you so mich for sharing your story so beautifully. This was our second child and now I’m so concerned that it might happen again. How did you manage your worries?
Thank you Caroline.
:)
Love your honesty here. You are right, so many women can relate to this struggle so bravo for mustering up the courage to share. Lots of love to you today and always, friend. xo
Love you.
Thank you Paula.
Thank you Claire.
And it felt good to be able to be there for your Snoopy. I love you.
Oh Yanira I can’t imagine the devastation you must have felt. Thankfully you stayed positive and kept trying and were blessed with your daughter and future baby. Thank you for sharing your story.
It really is so common. Thank you for sharing Sarah.
It’s true, the bad makes you appreciate the good. Have you heard that new Passenger song Let Her Go? It’s so true.
Congrats on trying :) xoxox good luck!
It’s funny how attached you become the moment you find out. Or even as soon as you start trying. It’s a future that you envision that just doesn’t ever happen.
I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Julie.
They certainly are. Thank you Karena.
Thank you Shelby.
I am a couple days behind on my blog reading, but am so glad that I didn’t miss this post. Once again lady, your honesty and sincerity is touching.
Great post, sweet Chassity! So many women struggle with this, I’m glad you are able to share!
So true miscarriages are so hard and difficult. You opening up to me, really helped me get through my grief so know that. It helped me to know that I was not alone and hopefully would get pregnant again. I feel for anyone who has had a miscarriage or lost an infant. Proud of you for sharing. I agree as women we need to be open and share these things with others.
Thank you for sharing. I had no idea about “national pregnancy and infant remembrance day”. I don’t have a problem discussing my miscarriages, 7 total, 5 of which were before my daughter and two prior to my current pregnancy. I’m glad you spoke up, I feel women should so others know they are not alone because I know how alone one can feel. Thank you again.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are so strong! My husband and I haven’t started “trying” yet, but a dear friend of mine just went through a miscarriage. I was so surprised to read that 1 in 5 pregnancies end this way. I’m glad that a day has been set aside to not only remember these events, but to open up about them. Every woman should know that she’s not alone.
I adore you for opening up and sharing this! We are starting to “try” to get pregnant and it’s proving to be a lot more difficult than I imagined it would be. If you never have bad days I think you appreciate the good a lot less…
Happy Friday love.
You are so strong. We also experienced a miscarriage between our 2nd and 3rd kiddos, I was around 6 weeks when it happened. I have to admit, that I was slightly taken back by just how hard that was to go through, I didn’t expect that at 6 weeks, I would have become so attached, but I had and I was. I totally agree that it’s good to be open about this (if you are able & wanting to) because there is a need for people to know that others understand what you are going through, at least that’s how I felt. xo
Chassity you have a huge heart to share your loss with others. Those babies are little winged cherubs now.
xoxo
Karena
2013 Designers Series
Thank you for being so open and brave and for sharing. We have not tried to have children yet, but they are truly blessings. And for the unheld babies, they are sweet angels looking down on us I think.